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Sunday 27 January 2013

'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.'


The quote used in the title of this entry was actually written by Marianne Williamson. Although, you may recognise it as (arguably) the most poignant quote from one of my favourite films - Coach Carter - featuring Samuel L. Jackson. It wouldn't be very honest of me to say that my deepest fear is that I'm powerful beyond measure. In fact, for the last couple of years it's been quite the opposite. I'm not proud of it but passing the first two years of medical school was driven by a fear of failure

And, to tell you the truth, it's worked thus far. Despite that fact, I don't want a fear of failure to be my driving force to do well anymore. I haven't sat an exam for 7 months - a ridiculously long time for a medical student and not something that I would say that I have a grievance about. Whether I like it or not though, I'm going to be sitting exams throughout my career and so I reckon I'm going to need to find a new approach. Franklin D. Roosevelt famously said, 'There is nothing to fear but fear itself.' I'm sure that his words mean a lot to many but, personally, I never really could relate them.

(Source: http://www.ted.com/talks/jk_rowling_the_fringe_benefits_of_failure.html)

Instead I look to the person who coined the terms 'expelliarmus', 'muggle' and 'quidditch' for an eloquent account of the benefits of failure. Logical. I've decided that sussing out the cause of my fear makes more sense than wracking my brains trying to define fear itself. J.K. Rowling did a stunning job of convincing me that failure is nothing to be scared of. I would recommend that you have a listen too (click on the YouTube link above). Having listened to it I'm feeling pretty positive, but also mildly gutted that I didn't graduate from Harvard in 2008. 'It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.'

Deep. 

Saturday 19 January 2013

'...the most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping programme that the sport has ever seen.'

I don't write this blog because I'm an avid sports fan (although I'm partial to a spot of netball  and watch lots of sport on TV for more reasons than London 2012). This is simply a blog written by a medical student who you may think is particularly over-opinionated. Touché. However, having watched the Lance Armstrong interview with Oprah, I think that I join the rest of the world in being truly disappointed and disgusted by a plethora of lies that not only has repercussions for cycling but for the entire sporting world. I'm sorry if I appear to lack empathy (a skill that is simply a must for a medical student) but this is one occasion in which I'm really, really struggling to see it from his point of view.

(Source: http://blog.zap2it.com/frominsidethebox/2013/01/lance-armstrongs-oprah-interview-watch-the-live-stream-online.html)

What struck me most was Armstrong's response to watching recordings of himself lying to his fans, to the public, to his sponsors, to himself. I can't tell if the man sitting opposite Oprah was the same man who told all those lies. I'm not sure that I sensed the existence of a remorseful individual in between those nervous chuckles. What he did show us though, is that he was still defensive. What was he expecting from his claim that he hadn't taken performance enhancing drugs since 2005 - a standing ovation? Why did he sidestep around the questions we wanted answers to? And what about the other individuals who assisted Armstrong in the deceit? I'm appalled that those individuals included doctors - the professionals expected to practice Medicine 'with conscience and dignity' (Declaration of Geneva 1948, Physician's Oath). 

Coincidentally, this interview brings into question a topic that I'm currently researching - the value of conscience. Having concluded that mankind values moral integrity, I'm left reeling at the thought that it might be possible that there are individuals out there that really don't have a conscience. At the time Armstrong was doping, he genuinely didn't consider himself to be cheating. To quote Mr Armstrong himself, taking banned substances was akin to saying that 'we have to have air in our tyres or we have to have water in our bottles. That was, in my view, part of the job.' A damning quote which, for once, leaves me speechless. 


Sunday 13 January 2013

Didn't you know that it's bad luck to walk under a ladder?

The word 'inspire' came up quite a few times in my life this week. Just so you know, I'm not one of those superstitious types. I mean obviously I have a lucky number, my weekly horoscope always comes true and I NEVER put brand new shoes on a table. Nevertheless, I feel like this word keeps popping up in random places for some unbeknown reason.

Over dinner last term, I found myself engaged in a heated debate with my peers over role-models (as Bioethics students do..hmm). From what I remember, pretty much the only thing that we all agreed on was that it's wrong to idolise someone. So all you 'Beliebers' out there, I'd advise you not to cross any of our paths. 
(Source: http://sites.psu.edu/taliatyndall/2012/11/01/bald-for-bieber/)

I don't entirely agree. Someone who inspires may be a role-model and they don't have to be an all-singing, all-dancing teen sensation. I had tea with my old French teacher earlier this week and she showed me the thank you/retirement card I gave her when I was fourteen. Inside it, I thanked her for inspiring me by encouraging me to persevere with languages although I found them difficult. 

A friend of mine bought a book this week called 'What The Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast' as she was feeling motivated, 'Carpe Diem' she said.   Incredible, I thought. Maybe she was feeling inspired. By seizing the day, she encouraged me to want to seize mine. 

So does it matter what form a role-model comes in? Is it relevant whether your inspiration comes from a relative, teacher, friend, musician or a complete stranger? I think not. Nevertheless, I do accept that I often come across as though I see the world through rose tinted spectacles so if you disagree with me then fair play to you. I'm open to suggestions. Until then, 'Hakuna matata'. No worries.  

Sunday 6 January 2013

'When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies'

*Firstly, I feel I should thank the Pussycat Dolls for providing young girls with such high aspirations. 

                      (Source: www.graphicsbeam.com/inspiration/classic-album-cover-designs/)

I've always been one of the oldest in my school year. Secretly, I was pretty proud of that fact as it definitely meant that I could always play the 'but I'm older than you' card whenever I wanted my own way. Now, a lot of my (non-medic) friends are currently trying to find work experience, work out which careers they want to go into and apply for internships and jobs. And all of a sudden I feel extremely young.

They say that I'm lucky - 'Chantie, at least you know what job you're going to do.' Maybe. But it's a long way off right? By the time I've finished university, if all goes well, most of those friends will have been working and earning for 2-3 years. They'll be grown-ups. It's a curious position to be in. Currently, I'm loving intercalating. I'm learning to question my actions and not just regurgitate the facts given to me in a pharmacology textbook. Medicine versus Bioethics. The right thing to do versus the right thing to do?  It's also a year for me to, like my friends, be sure that this is the career that I want to go into.

Despite having made slow progress on my law essay during this holiday, I can see the benefit of this year and I'm really enjoying managing my own time. Even so, I'm missing Medicine. Maybe I am young, but it's not a bad thing. No responsibility, no worries, no pressure.  I used one of those online countdown timers to work out (roughly) how long it'll be before I graduate. The answer? 1300 days. When put like that, it doesn't seem quite that long? Fine, I'm living in a fool's paradise.  But a Doctor by 2016? Bring it on. 

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